Ricki Lake Show Editor defends her Weight

“I”ve always been ashamed of my size. I grew up with a gorgeous mother who despite her gorgeousness, always worried about her wight.  I attended a series of fancy private schools populated by Thoroughbred humans who  rode Thoroughbred horses.  I fell in love with fashion at a very young age, coveting the lithe forms which showed it off best, and knew that my round shape could never measure up unless I whittled it down. Still, my weight has almost always been the thing I think of as holding me back.  Its my albatross, the excuse I use to explain all life’ s  failures, injustices and cruel twists of fate.  In fact until pretty recently, I believe my “weight problem” would keep me from ever finding the kind of person worth spending my life with.  I believed that my failing to lose weight, I was sentencing myself to a lifetime of solitary confinement as punishment for my pathetic lack of willpower. Then at 35 I fell in love.  All the fears i’d had about being undesirable because of my weight, that I was physically unattractive, that I lacked inner strength, that any self-respecting, successful man believed he deserved to have a skinny wife, which meant he believe he deserved better than me – all those fears disappeared overnight, just like everyone had always said they would when I met the right person. You might think that all these mind blowing realizations would enable me to lose weight, one and for all, that’s what always happens in movies and cheerful chick lit books, right? Fat chick identifies her core issue, shoots it down like a Space Invader, jogs sloppily around a track in a big sweatsuit, drinks gallons of smoothies, then sheds her terry cloth cocoon, to emerge a skinny, self confident butterfly in spandex. Nope, not my story. In fact in the time that my boyfriend and I have been together, I have put on a solid 15 lbs (thanks to his mother’s ridiculous lemon bars). My boyfriend swears he doesn’t care that we gained weight and I believe him – when it comes to his being attracted to me anyway. I want to help you stop hating your body my no longer allowing it to be the thing that stands between you and hour happiness. If you don’t yet have the life you want – the life you feel you deserve – your going to have to change.  But i’m not talking about losing weight.  Maybe you’ll have to be a little more assertive, a little less self righteous.  You’ll have to forgive stupid assholes for being reductive and judgmental.  Your going to have to accept that being fat is not an excuse to disengage from the aesthetic side of our culture, or even worse, to disengage from our culture entirely. Being fat comes with a host of responsibilities, not only to yourself, but to other fat people.  REPRESENT! You can be both fat and pretty, both fat and handsome, both fat and self confident, both fat and rich, both fat and wildly attractive, both fat and  yes–its true–Happy.

Rebecca Di Liberto is the Editor of “The Ricki Lake Show”  (these were excerpts of her article)

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